what remains
As a species, memories are essential to us.
Yet they are such fragile things. Like anything in nature, they are subject to decay and, ultimately, loss. In this work, I connect the fragility and decay of memories and the permanence of loss.
Artist Statement
“What Remains” is a body of work created during a season of emotionally devastating events. My mom had become terminally ill. I was traveling back and forth to another state to see her and help with her care. Each time I visited, I was forced to look directly at her mortality. I witnessed the sharp changes in her health. And with it, the decline of the person I had loved and who had loved me the longest.
I didn’t know at the time how quickly I’d lose her. But I did have a deep sense that it was impending. I felt a primal urgency and began obsessively sculpting these pieces. I didn’t know where the work was going, I just knew I needed to make them. Something in them made me feel safe.
In a matter of months, she was gone. Losing her was hollowing. It still feels this way.
I slowly picked this work back up. Trying to understand what my past self was doing with them. At the same time, I was in the process of going through her things. Unsurprisingly, bits of old memories resurfaced. Some were fully formed, others had decayed into fragments. Another primal need rose up in me. A need to preserve what was left of these unearthed memories. Without my mom here to help keep them alive with me, they needed a new home. So I gave them to these pieces. To carry them with me. And ultimately, carry her with me.
The pieces in this series, like memories, will physically decay and disappear over time. I know now, it’s part of the process of loss. I hope it happens long after I am gone, but for now, they are what remains.